We all fear the same thing. Getting lost in the wild with no food or water. Not to mention hundreds of creepy crawlers and let’s not forget, a series of sounds you’ve never heard in your life 🤤 If you’re an adventurer, this doesn’t pose a threat. However, if you’re a city boy/girl like me, you might need a few survival skills.
Well, lucky for you, I recently came face to face with SEVERAL wild animals and lived to tell about it. By reading this article you now have the luxury of obtaining this life saving information. It’s quite simple actually. All you need is courage and 2 fingers!! I had the 2 fingers, lucky for me I found the courage.
1st beast I came across was a saber tooth tiger. He was low to the ground but no match for the 3 stooges poke.
2nd encounter was with this massive rodent. They like to play games, I don’t…2 fingers right in the kisser!!
3rd was the elephant. Momma elephant didn’t want no problems once I gave baby dumbo the no look eye gauging.
Next was this enormous camel. I was gonna let it slide but then it spot on me. No mercy kid…✌
Now some monkeys are cute. But like most animals, they don’t have eyes in the back of their head. Best way to get them is with a sneak attack!!
Now no one likes snakes, well, unless your first name is Jake and your last name is Roberts. Outside of that, if you see one in the streets, just pretend your Ray Charles, “oh i can’t see you Mr. Snake,” then BAM!! Got his ass…
When you come across a big bird like this, notice the the size of the head. 2 hands, 2 fingers, lots of courage.
The last and most ferocious animal I came across was Simba. He was trying to sing “Circle of Life” but i knew that meant I was about to be a part of that circle. Uh uh, not today, not me. So with all my courage and all my speed I said, “Hey Simba!” He said, “What?” I said, “Catch!” He said, “Catch what?” I said, “These fingers!!!!” 👆👆
I hope you feel empowered and stronger mentally after reading this article. I hope when you find yourself lost in the wild like I was that you remember these crucial tips. They could be the difference between life and death. Courage and 2 fingers. Doesn’t get easier than that!!