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Scream Queens Recap 2×03 – “Handidates”

The body count on Scream Queens season 2 is getting higher and higher with each week as literally every patient that has every walked through those doors gets killed.

Seriously, that Green Meanie isn’t playing. And the Chanel’s aren’t playing, they really had nicknamed this ruthless serial killer the “Green Meanie.”

The C.U.R.E Institute may have been a good idea at first but for now, none of the patients with rare and incurable diseases have actually come out alive. The Green Meanie has killed every single patient meaning his agenda is to get revenge on the hospital and make sure that Dean Munch’s establishment fails. And just when you thought the only patient, who came seeking help for constant orgasms and made Chanel #3 very jealous, would walk out alive, she was BEHEADED… in slow motion I might add. Swamp monster ain’t playing, but he IS afraid of Zayday. Why? We don’t know just yet.

Needing answers, our favorite sorority sisters turn to the only other serial killer for answers – Hester. Hester somehow knows everything despite being in isolation at a mental hospital. She refuses to speak until the ladies deliver her list of demands. Until then, the “killings will keep happening” she says adding that there isn’t anything anyone can do about it. She does however give the girls a big clue: ESRUN cream.

After some light detective work they figure out that ESRUN spells “nurse” backwards and it is also a brand of face cream started by a former nurse at the hospital. They pay said nurse a quick visit and find out that he was the SOLE survivor of the 1986 hospital massacre. That massacre happened 1 year after the doctors promised to help a woman’s husband but instead sedated him and threw him into the slimy, green swamp because they wanted to party. He believes that the next Halloween, the man’s wife came back and killed everyone. But if she got her revenge then, who is doing the killings now?

The Chanels, Zayday, Munch and Denise figure it must be that woman’s baby although they still don’t have a motive for that baby. Regardless, they figure that baby would be about 30 years old right now so that narrows it down to two possible suspects – Chad Radwell and Uncle Jesse Dr. Brock Holt.

Radwell does his best to convince everyone that Holt has to be responsible for the murders – he’s the only one with the hand of a serial killer attached to his body. I have to say out of everything Chad has ever said, this is the smartest. We’ve seen Holt’s hand have random killing tendencies, but none that he’s acted on. Chad manages to convince Munch who says the only way Holt can stay on as doctor is if he gets a new hand… and Chad only agrees if he operates because you know, anyone can be a doctor on this show right? Thankfully, Chad doesn’t have to chop anyone’s hand off because the Dean is convinced he’s responsible. After all, the murders all began the minute he came back. Logical? No. But it is Dean Munch.

That doesn’t stop the competition between Chad and Dr. Holt. Instead the two go head-to-head for the most prized possession: Chanel. Dr. Holt tells Chad that he’s going to propose to Chanel but Chad beats him to the punch by taking Chanel on a walk in the park and serenading her with a mariachi band. Real romantic. Chanel is overjoyed of course and plans her wedding for the very next day, asking both Zayday and Chanel #3 to be her bridesmaids. That’s definitely a low blow to Chanel #5 who is quite literally her best friend. “We’re not that close,” Chanel tells her before asking her to be a “dog” ring bearer. Seriously, Chanel #5 might be the smartest one out of the 3 of them, why does she put up with any of this?

While Chanel is busy planning her wedding to her filthy rich Prince Charming, Chad is kind of freaking out about the whole thing. He asks Dr. Holt to be his “best man” because a. all of his friends were killed by serial killers and b. he’s saving his brothers for the “real wedding.” Isn’t it great when the guy you’re marrying doesn’t believe the marriage will succeed? Even scarier to Chad than the marriage part is the fact that the next time he sleeps with someone he’ll be cheating on his wife and he doesn’t want his good looks to be wasted on one woman. No wonder Dr. Holt wants to kill him.

Holt agrees to be his best man and even ties Chad’s bowtie for him… tightly and in a strangling motion. That moment becomes quite important because the very next day, Chanel is stood up at the alter… or at least she thinks. Turns out that Chad wasn’t just running late, his corpse was crashing the party. Cause of death? Strangulation/ stabbing from his fricking bow-tie. Hester did say the clues are all in front of us didn’t she? And right now, they all point to Dr. Holt who WASN’T at the church either might I add. Just think about it he has all this motive – he wanted Chanel for himself, he hated Chad, he could very well pass as a 30 year old, he has a serial killer’s hand and well, the Grean Meanie does use his “hand” to throw slasher objects.

Also heating up on the relationship front, despite the fact that he’s dead, is Chanel #3 and Dr. Cassidy Cascade. After Chanel #3 confides in him that she’s never had an orgasm, he confides in her that he choked on his puke at a party and died. The reason he came to C.U.R.E was to find out why he was still living when he was dead. But after finding out the Chanel #3 felt “dead” inside while he was really dead, he realized that maybe his mission in life was to make her feel alive again… yes, by showing her a good time. Seriously, leave it up to Chanel #3 to fall in love with a dead man. Hey, at least we know the killer can’t actually kill him, right?

Who do you think the killer is? I will say I’m about 95% convinced it is Holt but in the off chance that it isn’t, I’m going to go the no-name nurse, played by Kirstie Alley, who has some kind of unknown agenda against the Chanel’s and was caught spying on Munsch last week. We haven’t seen her around the hospital recently, which means she could be hiding behind the mask! There also has to be a reason for Hester wanting to be located inside the hospital. Is she in talks with the killer? Helping him/her? And why is the killer obsessed with knocking off patients? Is it because he/she was never cured at the hospital so he/she doesn’t want anyone to walk out healthy?


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